Every parent is capable of raising happy, healthy and emotionally grounded children. But many struggle along the way.
In my two decades of experience as child psychologistI have found that when parents are not in tune with their child’s unique temperament and traits, they fail to honor and celebrate their child’s authentic self.
There are six most extraordinary and gifted types of children. Your child may be more of one than the other, or a mixture of them all. Knowing their type will strengthen your relationship with each other and help them understand each other better.
1. The Anxious Blaster
Anxious exploders are often fussy, irritable, and go off at the slightest thing.
Their beauty is that they are very sensitive and porous. But that means they tend to absorb the anxiety around them. And what to do with all this? They explode!
Parent advice: Be grounded, firm and calm. If you become reactive, whether in anger or anxiety, it can trigger a tsunami of emotions.
Praise them for their abilities to process their environment, but teach them to create the comfort they need: “When you’re feeling nervous, close your eyes and repeat to yourself, ‘I’m safe, I’m home. And everything will go just fine. .'”
2. The Hyperactive Explorer
Hyperactive explorers can’t sit still and are never where you last left them.
These children are often labeled as “troublesome” by parents and teachers because they can be extremely active in mind and body. But their superpower is that they are incredibly curious and engaged.
Parent advice: Hyperactive Explorers should be honored, not shamed, for their passionate spirit.
Show them unconditional acceptance so they can accept themselves in a world that can repeatedly run away from them: “I admire you for your creativity and imagination. Your different ways of thinking can help you do amazing things. “
3. Most enjoyable
Excesses are like butter – soft and pliable, easy to mold and shape – and they’re the perfect prey for parents with a strong need for control.
They fill in the gaps, take over household chores, and get gold stars. But because they are eager to help, they often overstep and take on parental responsibilities, becoming the “parentified” adult at home.
Parent advice: Honor them and teach them to protect their borders.
Remind them that their needs come first: “You are a giver, and you may meet many who will continue to take you. Remember that you can say ‘no’.”
4. The Dreamer-Recluse
Dreamer-Recluse children tend to be shy and introverted, and may struggle with social and conversation skills.
You can often catch them staring off into space, doodling in their notebooks, or spending so much time alone that you wonder if they’re even in the house.
Parent advice: Society may try to tell them that they should be the opposite, that they should be more outgoing.
Help them feel safe and highlight their strengths: “Don’t let people tell you how to be. Remember that those who are able to be alone are strong people. I admire you as you are.”
5. The Rebel Maverick
Rebellious Mavericks have the will of an ox. They won’t comply until they’re convinced it’s something they want to do.
I know how difficult these children can be. My daughter, Maia, is a rebel, and she has the type of confidence that makes her not afraid of authority.
Parent advice: These children need to feel respected for their determination.
Release control and judgment: “I like your ability to follow your own voice and not be swayed by popular opinion. However, don’t fight the rules just for the sake of fighting, or you’ll burn out.”
6. The Happy-Go-Lucky
These children are always laughing and in a good mood. They are not difficult, demanding or bossy.
The only downside is that they can be too relaxed and seem unmotivated. Therefore, some parents may perceive them as not being ambitious enough.
Parent advice: What parents don’t realize is that Happy-Go-Lucky kids are actually the gurus of life in the present.
Celebrate their positive approach to the world: “You always bring such peace and joy into every situation. Preserve that rhythm, for it’s a lost rhythm that most of the world needs to pick up.”
Dr Shefali TsabaryPhD, is a child psychologist and bestselling author of “The parent card”, “The Conscious Parent” And “The Awakened Family”. She earned her doctorate from Columbia University and is a wisdom teacher who integrates Eastern spirituality with Western psychology. A specialist in family dynamics and relationships, she is also the founder of the Mindful Parenting Coaching Institute. Follow her on Twitter And instagram.